Chapter Index

 

 

You Xin’s fury didn’t affect You Xin, he didn’t seem to care about his sister’s sharp curses.

Her screams echoed in his ears, so angry that it couldn’t be ignored, but You Xin took them in stride.

 

He cleared his desktop, calmed himself, and stared intently at the basement’s outdated walls as he always did.

It was the direction of the theater stage.

 

He was waiting for his beloved girl, Ai Li, to start singing, as rehearsals had already begun.

Not a moment later, Ai Li’s melodious voice came through.

The classical music was softly sung in the most classic alto style, and was as calming as a lullaby.

It reminded him of the unknown tunes his mother hummed when he was young.

 

At that time, his mother would gently stroke his cheek, her long seaweed-like hair falling in front of his eyes, she was gentle and beautiful.

 

His sister was also good and cute, accompanying him to listen to his mother’s songs.

 

You Xin listened quietly to the faint sounds of the song coming through the walls, just as he had countless times before.

But perhaps because the screams in his ears were becoming more and more piercing, he gradually lost his ability to focus, his eyes laxly glancing about at random.

 

It was only after a long time that he realized he had been looking at the trash can at his side.

 

There, the torn newspaper still showed a corner.

It was the youth’s slightly curved eyes.

He didn’t know why he was staring at the fragment.

He looked at it for a moment longer before forcing his eyes back, trying to return his attention to Ai Li’s song.

But apparently he failed.

It was probably his sister’s emotions getting to him.

You Xin judged it so.

 

[Damn bastard, are you jealous? Jealous that the woman you like is also in love with Jiu Shu?]

[Hahaha! Although that woman deserves to die as well, she did a good job of making you recognize yourself! You’ll never be happy in this life!]

[How dare you hate my Jiu Shu – is it because you hate the feeling of liking a man?]

[You’re a stupid asshole who’s going to hell sooner or later! Selfish asshole! Stupid pig!]

[No one will ever love you, you’re doomed to die alone!]

[Like mom said, no one will miss you when you die!]

Her sarcastic words and curses continued and intensified.

You Xin considered himself to be a person of great self-control.

 

Unlike his moody and irritable sister, he was far more sensible and calm.
But today, for some reason, he was almost unable to stand the screaming in his ears, unable to put up with the irrationality of his only family member as usual.

 

Clatter – You Xin emptied out the pill box in the drawer and swallowed a few pills to the sound of her resentful voice.

Then the world before them grew quiet.

His sister’s voice became distorted in the strange silence, eerie with blood-deep malice [You Xin! You will regret this! I swear-]

 

The voice faded into a booming tinnitus.

He waited in silence for the ringing in his ears to die down.

He seemed to have gotten used to the shrill voice that almost pierced his eardrums.

 

He kept his eyes open and watched as the world in front of him twisted and turned with the ringing in his ears, until it returned to the dark, damp look of the basement.

 

Even as the sound disappeared completely, a sharp pain still drummed in his temples.

 

But he didn’t care, there wasn’t even the slightest change in his expression.

 

He had already gotten used to the pain, and he no longer cared about these agonies attached to his flesh and blood.

 

Without the mood to continue listening to the song, he stood up and walked towards the props and sundries piled up in the basement, carrying out an easel from within.

 

On it were his unfinished paintings that had been thrown into the clutter by You Xin.

She would often wreak havoc while his consciousness was asleep and unable to control his body, but he was used to it.

 

Taking out the stained painting from the clutter, You Xin gently wiped away the dirt, covering the areas that couldn’t be wiped away with other colors.

 

On the painting was a woman in a long white dress, her long seaweed-like hair wrapped around her soft arms as she made a gesture of singing.

 

The features of her face were blank, making it impossible to tell who the person in the painting actually was.

 

When drawing, his back was straight and he held the brush in a standardized position, as if it were a habit he picked up at a young age that had continued to this day.

 

The temperament cultivated by his good upbringing made him look like an aristocrat from a good family, as he was concentrating on his painting.

Only the expressionless, ghastly face spoke of a silent sense of dissonance.

He skilfully covered the canvas with layer after layer of color until the background behind the woman in the white dress became dazzling, as if she stood at the focal point of the world.

 

And the woman’s face was never touched.

After painting a portrait of a woman in a white dress with no facial features in this way, You Xin’s mood stabilized a lot.

 

He packed up his painting tools and was ready to rest.

When he got up, he inadvertently knocked over the cardboard box at his side, and many pieces of paper fell out from it.

 

You Xin half squatted down to look at them and took them out one by one, realizing that they seemed to be articles and photographs cut out from magazines and newspapers.

 

Almost every piece of paper had “Jiu Shu” written on it, and every gap was filled with “I love you” in bright red.

 

It was the work of You Xin.

 

The thick pile of paper made one imagine the effort it took to collect such a large number of magazines and newspapers.

 

As he looked at the pieces of paper in his hands, he seemed to be thinking about something, his eyes lingering on the words.

 

All of them were articles that praised Jiu Shu, or wrote about his life.

 

The fans of this singer never minced words of praise for him.

 

It was as if to them, no matter how exaggerated the praises were, they were pale and couldn’t portray a million percent of the beauty of Jiu Shu, so they had to keep writing more and more praises to express their heartfelt admiration and longing.

In addition to words, there were photographs.

 

Spreading out the photos, as far as the eye could see, each picture only showed the singer named Jiu Shu.

 

You Xin cut out every person in the same frame with him, leaving only crooked single photos.

 

Some of the photos were only in black and white, while others looked like sneak peeks from entertainment magazines, blurry and dim, overexposed and flooded with dead white.

 

But even though these images were so blurry, they couldn’t hide a single ounce of the young singer’s beauty.

He could be seen at a glance, even against the dim background.

 

It was a very different, aggressive beauty from Ai Li’s.

 

A perpetual light smile on his snow-like skin, as unassuming as his loose attire, but enough to take away all of one’s attention.

Especially those beautiful black eyes, amber clear, with a soft glow, made people subconsciously fall into them when looking at them.

 

You Xin looked through the photo and seemed to be a little shaken, stopping his movements only after a long time.

 

He realized that he had been looking at the photo for too long, and that this wasn’t normal for him.

He was certain that it was his sister’s emotions getting to him.

Not wanting to go on like this, You Xin had to let his ever-so-arrogant sister know of his aversion to the singer, so that she would give up on continuing to influence him.

For, he was immensely resistant to this person who disrupted his peaceful life.

To this end, he tore up most of the pieces of paper.

As he was about to tear the pictures, You Xin paused, his fingers pausing over the faces with smiles on them.

After a moment’s hesitation, he still didn’t tear the pictures.

 

Perhaps it was because he wanted to leave room for his sister, he thought to himself, organizing the photos and stacking them on top of each other.

 

But he really did hate the man.

As he looked at the photos in his hands, emotions that even he couldn’t tell were settling in his eyes.

 

He thought that this might be the feeling of loathing.

Stab-

A sharp dagger nailed this turn of photos hard to the wall, and also tore the smile of the person on the photo.

 

Looking at the photos of his love rival that were put together, You Xin, however, suddenly felt his mood take a turn for the worst.

 

Perhaps it was because he hated the singer so much that he felt so uncomfortable.

This was the only explanation that You Xin could offer.

 

 


TN:
See ya ‘morrow ✌️

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  1. Ahhh I really enjoy the descriptions of YX’s mentality. He “thought” that this might be the feeling of loathing. It shows that JQ’s interpretation of YX is correct.

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