In You Xin’s heart, there was nothing more important than Jiu Shu, even the perception of his gender could be changed for him.
From Jiu Shu’s answer, You Xin understood that without this body, perhaps Jiu Shu would not have agreed to ‘his’ confession at all.
If Jiu Shu liked this male body, then it didn’t matter if he was a man for the rest of his life.
He even began to like this body, which had seemed so ugly in the past, and becoming a man didn’t seem so bad after all.
He could hold his beloved Jiu Shu in his arms, every inch of their skin pressed together, just like what he had fantasized in his fondest dreams, to be with Jiu Shu forever.
The only thing that wasn’t as good was that the other consciousness in this body was an eyesore.
Though You Xin had always found ‘his’ brother an eyesore, there had never been a moment when ‘he’ wanted You Xin gone more than now.
After all, if it was only this body that his beloved liked, then ‘he’ and You Xin had the same qualifications to be liked by Jiu Shu.
You Xin would never allow that to happen.
Just imagining ‘his’ beloved Jiu Shu and You Xin together drove him insane.
[……] You Xin vaguely sensed part of You Xin’s emotions.
He was silent and didn’t speak, as if he didn’t notice the piercingly cold malice from his sister.
Although You Xin didn’t speak what was in ‘her’ mind, he could somehow guess what You Xin was thinking at that moment.
‘she’ must be thinking that it would be good if he didn’t exist in this body.
It would be good if there was only one consciousness.
You Xin didn’t know whether he was repeating You Xin’s thoughts or speaking of some unspeakable dark thought hidden in his own heart.
He looked outward through You Xin’s eyes, gazing at the lightly furrowed brow of Jiu Shu not far away, and for a moment he couldn’t tell the difference.
It could only be denied over and over in his mind.
He wouldn’t be as cold-blooded as his sister, who was his only family, and he wouldn’t want his only family to disappear.
Because he didn’t care at all about this youth called Jiu Shu.
You Xin said this to himself, over and over again, as if telling the lie a thousand times would turn it into reality.
Inside the basement, the game continued.
Already familiar with the flow of the two played more and more smoothly, You Xin also no longer stammered to read the sentence, but his face still had an undiminished reddish color, shyly not daring to meet Jiu Shu’s eyes.
Jiu Shu was bored with drawing cards, and looked thoughtfully at the object of punishment across the table who was seriously drawing cards.
His gaze fell on You Xin’s pitch-black pupils for a long time, as if it could penetrate the pupils to see the depths of his soul.
In the past few days, Jiu Shu had been busy dealing with matters concerning the Ten Elders Club, and it wasn’t until today that he had taken the time to meet with the subject of discipline.
As his investigation deepened, a lot of information that hadn’t been reflected in the original book and movie surfaced.
The most important of which was about the contents of that Creation God Kasmos.
After reading all the information about this god, Jiu Shu realized that there were many descriptions of the time of His revival in the legends of this god.
It was said that He would walk the earth in a human body, collecting all the suffering and misery on earth until the body perished.
Then He would awaken and judge the sins of all mankind on the Day of Judgment.
These elements were very similar to the plot of the movie, except that those in the movie thought that collecting suffering and misery meant watching human suffering from the sidelines to the point where it ended in tragedy.
In fact, in Jiu Shu’s view, gleaning meant that all the suffering endured by the human incarnation of the god became the basis for the god’s judgment of humanity on the Day of Judgment.
The target of the punishment in the movie apparently didn’t suffer much, eventually leading to the whole planet being buried with it.
Thinking of this, Jiu Shu paused, a faint contemplation condensing in his dark pupils.
If he continued to deduce according to this clue, the current target of discipline was actually equivalent to the incarnation of this god in the current world.
From birth, he was destined to live a miserable life, enduring successive sufferings for the sake of his final awakening.
When the suffering reached its peak, it was the day of Kasmos’ awakening.
Thinking of Kasmos’s crying at the end of the movie, Jiu Shu was a bit out of his mind, that kind of agonizing cry that he could hear even through the screen was still unforgettable to him.
His gaze swept past You Xin’s reddened ears and cheeks, and he couldn’t help but compare the man in front of him, who was so pure that he had a few cute moments, to the irrational, incommunicable god of Extinction.
Although the gods in Jiu Shu’s perception were all high-dimensional beings, it was impossible to have too strong a sense of empathy towards humans, and after awakening, there was a high probability that the consciousness of the human incarnation would quickly disappear into the god’s vast and redundant mind, ceasing to exist.
However, in coming to the conclusion that the object of punishment was the deity’s incarnation, Jiu Shu still couldn’t help but draw a parallel between him and Kasmos.
The thought that this big, silly man would let out such a mournful wail at the end of the movie made him feel slightly uncomfortable.
And, if that was the case, then the original idea of settling the Ten Elders Club and keeping the Subject of Discipline out of the plot might not be enough.
Only by removing the suffering of the disciplinary object could the awakening of Kasmos be prevented, and the definition of that suffering was what Jiu Shu had been wrestling with recently.
Just as he was lost in contemplation, You Xin across the table was already embarrassed by his direct gaze.
‘he’ hung his head in embarrassment and stole a glance at Jiu Shu every now and then.
When he was sure that his beloved’s gaze was on him, his heart felt sweet as if it was full of honey.
More and more, ‘he’ was convinced that Jiu Shu liked ‘his’ current body.
Then …… maybe it was time to see a psychiatrist.
You Xin lowered ‘his’ head and looked at ‘his’ hand, which had been obediently placed on the knee. ‘His’ fingers slowly clenched into a fist.
Just like the doctor had requested before ‘he’ was discharged, it was time to cure the current mental illness quickly, until this body had only one consciousness.
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