When did she find out that Cheng Ying was gay? Jiang Si didn’t know either. Maybe it was only when she found that all his friends were men that she gradually felt something was wrong.
Her good sister heard, laughing at her confusion, “If your husband doesn’t play with men, but with women, this is what needs to be worried about, okay?”
Jiang Si smiled reluctantly and agreed.
But she clearly felt it, when Cheng Ying looked at those male colleagues in the unit, his eyes were different, but she couldn’t figure out how, in that era there was no concept of homosexuality, for no reason, of course, no one would think in that direction.
The other thing that dulled her thoughts was the baby, which they finally had in their third year of marriage.
This was the crystallization of the couple after countless failed attempts, Jiang Si was of course very happy, Cheng Ying rushed out to the street to buy her a bag of sesame crisp – that was her favorite thing to eat, Cheng Ying’s satisfied smile, for the first time she had a sense of home, the thoughts in her heart dissipated with her husband’s smile.
But Cheng Ying’s happiness didn’t last long, it seemed that after a week, he had changed back to that dull and boring man, but, for her, he was always much more gentle and attentive.
Cheng Ying had a habit of getting up at night. Jiang Si knew that since she became pregnant, he had been getting up at night more and more frequently. Jiang Si didn’t care too much. After all, she also felt nervous and uneasy because of the arrival of a new life. Until that night, she suddenly felt uncomfortable and frowned. When she reached out, she found that the quilt next to her was empty.
“Cheng Ying ……? Cheng Ying?”
An indescribable feeling rushed to Jiang Si’s heart, she gingerly got up from the bed and searched for her husband in the house, passing by the kitchen when she found a dark shadow squatting in the corner of the sink.
What was wrong with him? Was he not feeling well?
Jiang Si was about to go forward, then she suddenly heard a faint sound, similar to a small animal whimpering, taking a closer look, Cheng Ying shrank in the corner and couldn’t stop trembling, he didn’t speak, he didn’t even have any expression, just his back, but she could strongly feel – a kind of inexplicable depression and despair enveloped in his surroundings.
Was he so afraid of this child …… so afraid of her?
Pregnant women were always prone to sensitive and agitated emotions, Jiang Si looked at the shrunken Cheng Ying, chest constantly heaving, the worry she felt at this moment turned into a burning chest of anger, and …… there was even a trace of hatred.
She took two steps forward and was about to question him, then Cheng Ying laughed with a crying undertone, it was an extremely forced laugh. To be honest, it was really weird to hear her husband crying and laughing in the kitchen at midnight. But Jiang Si felt from his laughter that Cheng Ying was trying to persuade himself to be happy, even though he failed.
The laughter didn’t last long, more sorrowful cries instead of whimpering spread to this cramped and narrow kitchen, Cheng Ying buried his head in his knees, clutching his arms very hard, veins even in the dark night was very conspicuous, the painful emotions immediately crushed Jiang Si, she looked at the fragile Cheng Ying, and suddenly felt extremely numb.
She silently retreated.
Cheng Ying was getting colder and colder to her, and she was slowly becoming numb. She knew that no one was doing it intentionally, but the atmosphere between the two was getting thicker and thicker.
Alas, marriage wasn’t like this. As time went by, love gradually became family love. Even if Cheng Ying no longer loved her, at least he would be good to her and their children.
But she never expected to find her husband’s love letters he had written in high school.
The love letters to the male classmate called Cai Baiwen.
So he was gay.
“I want to go home! You d-amned liars! I’m going to ask my father to sue you for cheating me!” Jiang Si ignored mother Cheng’s tug and tugged the box to go out.
“No, Ah Si, even if you don’t think about yourself, you have to think about your child!” Mother Cheng was in tears, and her mouth kept chanting about her grandson.
“Stop it, I am thinking about the child, so I put up with you guys until today!” Jiang Si was angry, furious, the muscles on her face trembled slightly with vigorous movements, a raging fire burning her internal organs were hot and painful, as if all the aggression accumulated in the past few years had exploded at once.
“We are sorry for you, but these years, hasn’t our Cheng family been good to you? Old Cheng and I treat you like our own daughter …… Cheng Ying! Except that Cheng Ying doesn’t like women, what did he wrong? Has he beaten you, or scolded you, or cheated on you? He is sick, he is just sick, Ah Si!”
Hearing the word “sick”, Cheng Ying’s lips moved, but he ultimately said nothing.
Jiang Si’s movements were stagnant for a moment.
Father Cheng immediately pushed Cheng Ying, “still won’t apologize!?”
Only then did Jiang Si see Cheng Ying behind the gap in the crowd, his face was pale, his lips were slightly pursed, his eyes were fixed on the small paper ball in Jiang Si’s hand, a look of humiliation surfaced on his face, “Why …… did you turn over my things?”
Jiang Si flinched, then said loudly: “I am your wife, I can’t see this kind of unseemly things?”
Father Cheng said angrily: “What nonsense Cheng Ying, you still won’t admit your mistake?”
Cheng Ying didn’t say anything, but his face was even whiter than just now, his eyes swept over everyone present with a complicated look, as if he was accusing, but also as if he was carrying a kind of wordless aggression, anyone who saw his expression like this couldn’t harden his heart.
Li Yan froze.
Honestly, after seeing the script written that after Jiang Si and Cheng Ying looked at each other, she changed her mind and didn’t divorce. She had never been able to understand how just one glance could make Jiang Si willingly trapped in this famous and insubstantial marriage cage for life.
Now she knew.
Zhou Yuhe’s eyes.
Those eyes really carried too much, the sullenness behind the wavering, on the verge of an outbreak of hesitation, to the final compromise of reality, not a word.
Such a look with the meaning of compromise and humiliation, also hit the Jiang Si who was wandering in hesitation.
In the circumstances of the time, a woman who divorced, suffered a lot of pressure, her old Jiang family couldn’t afford to lose this person. The Cheng family was really okay with her, except that the way her and Cheng Ying got along was very depressing, Cheng Ying was really good to her. Could a divorced woman still find someone like Cheng Ying, that aside, the child ……
Her eyes were staring at Cheng Ying, trying to find more power in those eyes to support her decision.
But Cheng Ying only looked at her for a second, then moved away and never had the courage to face her again.
Jiang Si glared angrily, and suddenly let go of her shoulders, a bleak aura spread from her body.
Forget it, this life has been like this, according to his wimp-like character, as long as they didn’t divorce, he wouldn’t do anything wrong to her, these days, eating well and wearing warm clothes, it could be managed ……
That’s what she thought , but Cheng Ying’s eyes that night always lingered in her mind.
Although only for a moment, but that pair of eyes showed a moment of determination, always making her feel uneasy.
It seemed to have planted a seed for that rainy night.
After seven or eight years of marriage, Jiang Si was like a frog soaked in warm water. Her original lively and bright personality was completely polished by the dull and boring life and Cheng Ying. You could no longer see the girl’s intelligence on her face. Only the chicken feathers were left after the hurricane of life swept through her.
Even so, that was good.
Because she wasn’t the only one who was beaten by life, but also Cheng Ying.
Cheng Ying and she were more and more speechless. Every day when they returned home, they washed their hands and ate silently. Later, because it was too depressing to eat at the same table, Cheng Ying had to go to the kitchen and eat before coming out.
Jiang Si thought that they would spend their lives like this. Unexpectedly, one afternoon, Cheng Ying came home with a smile and a plastic bag in his hand, which was full of ordinary daily necessities.
That smile was very eye-catching.
The last ten years of Cheng Ying’s smile were different, this was transparent, light, like the sun.
This kind of smile shocked Jiang Si, but also vaguely brought a kind of unease.
It seemed that something had appeared.
Li Yan and Zhou Yuhe’s scenes were shot for most of the month, many of the material edited may not all be cut into the main film, but the two didn’t slacken their work, the director arranged for all the scenes to be completed in a step-by-step manner.
Meng Chuan looked at the finished film, his mouth couldn’t stop praising the acting skills of the two actors, maybe ten sentences inside only two or three sentences about Li Yan, but Li Yan couldn’t get jealous.
In fact, Jiang Si was outgoing, while Cheng Ying was introverted and dull, in such a natural advantage, it should be Li Yan who was in control of the scenes, but in and out of the scene, Li Yan had a feeling of being pulled by the other side, as if she played Jiang Si’s every move, all thoughts were influenced by Cheng Ying’s natural performance, such a strong dramatic control, she had only encountered it with some old-timers.
Li Yan’s scenes ended after all the youth scenes were done, along with the youth scenes of Xie Yifeng and Zhou Yuhe.
In order to better appreciate the emotions of Jiang Si in the film, Jiang Si didn’t know what happened between Cheng Ying and Cai Bowen, so the director naturally didn’t let Li Yan see Xie Zhou’s acting in the youth scenes, until the end of the scenes, she didn’t even see a hair of “Cai Bowen”.
It wasn’t until after the ki-lling that she had the opportunity.
“Li Yan, aren’t you done? Why did you come to the set today?” Meng Chuan said unexpectedly.
“Hey, there’s nothing to go back to, so I came to see today.” Li Yan patted the dust on the hem of her skirt.
“Eh okay, it just so happens that today they shoot the teenage scene, you sit here.” Meng Chuan used the rolled up script to point to the position next to the assistant director.
Li Yan nodded, picked up a bench and sat down next to the assistant director.
In the center of the set, it was Zhou Yuhe and Xie Yifeng who shot the first scene.
The shooting site was a middle school classroom, the camera was facing a long corridor, Xie Yifeng wore a whit T-shirt and was walking through the crowd from the camera side.
It must be said that Xie Yifeng was good at melting himself into the scene, although she never met the young Cai Bowen, but this teenage Cai Bowen, just a glance showed that he was like the son of heaven from the bones, it wasn’t deliberate, it was extremely natural.
The surrounding staff kept exclaiming, Xie Yifeng’s change should be the most shocking, after all, they just came back from the youth scenes, that period of Cai Baiwen and Cheng Ying, like a completely changed look, Cai Bowen, who was the center of attention, had become a pragmatic and taciturn shopkeeper under the influence of society. It was too different from the feeling of “white faced young man” now.
But Li Yan had little feeling. Because she didn’t have a rival scene with Cai Baiwen, she naturally couldn’t appreciate how good Xie Yifeng’s acting skills were.
What she was more interested in was Zhou Yuhe.
Li Yan tugged on the sleeve of the assistant director next to her and whispered, “Eh, where is Zhou Zhou?”
Director Luo’s eyes were completely glued to Xie Yifeng, and he couldn’t care less about Li Yan and pointed forward, “Well, isn’t he there?”
We don’t have much left, like 5 or 6 chaps to go.
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